Finally Answering Ash's Questions

I thought I'd take a quick break from ranting about men to answer Ashly's questions.

1.) What animal are you most like? I'm sure those of you who knew me when I was a kid would say a horse, but horses are generally flighty and unintelligent so I would prefer not to liken myself to them. I guess I'm more like a tiger. I get what I want and I'm willing to wait to make sure it happens, I generally prefer to be alone, I like Frosted Flakes, and my only natural enemy is man. Oh yeah, and I'm covered in hair.

2.) What is your theme song? Travis Tritt It's A Great Day To Be Alive
I Got Rice cooking in the microwave
Got a three day beard I don't plan to shave
And its a goofy thing but I just gotta say
Hey I'm doing alright.
Yeah I think I'll make me some homemade soup
Feelin' pretty good and that's the truth
It's neither drink nor drug induced
No Im just doin' alright
And it's a great day to be alive
I know the suns still shinin' when I close my eyes
There's some hard times in the neigborhood
But why can't every day be just this good?
It's been 15 years since I left home
Said good luck to every seed I'd sown,
Give it my best and then I left it alone
Ohhh I hope their doin' alright.
Now I look in the mirror and what do I see?
A lone wolf there ... starin' back at me,
Long in the tooth but harmless as can be,
Lord I guess he's doin' alright
And it's a great day to be alive
I know the suns still shinin' when I close my eyes
There's some hard times in the neigborhood
But why can't every day be just this good?
Sometimes its lonely
Sometimes its only me and
The shadows that fill this room,
Sometimes I'm fallin' desperately callin'
Howlin' at the moon
Ahhhwwoooooo! Ahhhwooooooo!
Well I might go get me a new tatoo or
Take my old Harley for a three day cruise
Might even grow me a fu man chu...
Ahhhwwoooooo! Ahhhwooooooo!
And it's a great day to be alive
I know the suns still shinin' when I close my eyes
There's some hard times in the neigborhood
But why can't every day be just this good?
And it's a great day to be alive
I know the sun's still shinin' when I close my eyes
There's some hard times in the neigborhood
But why can't every day be just this good?

3.) What movie would you star in? If I could pick any?? Speed, I would definitely star in Speed. It would be way fun, I'd get to make out with Keanu Reeves, and I wouldn't have to worry about being the worst actor in it.

4.) What is the one thing you would change about yourself if you could? I would either change my propensity for attached males (how does that keep happening??) or I would have a sense of humor that's less mean. Some people don't appreciate it that much. Dumbasses.

5.) What would you prefer; being a size 18 and having great sex everyday or being a size 4 and only having mediocre sex occasionally? Size 18 with great sex FOR SURE. I like sex WAY too much to be able to deal with bad sex. I think you knew the answer to that question Ash. =)

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Okay guys, sorry about the rather angry post I left a couple days ago, it has since been deleted.  I would just like to say that I do not hate men and I do not think they are all liars, I was just very very angry.  That day carried on to be an absolutely horrible one.  I sold my horse, the one I've had for 6 years.  That's a LONG time to spend with something just to see it sent down the road to Ooooooooklahoma (where the winds go sweeping down the plain).  But anyway, shit happens and we have to grow up sometime, right?  It just ended up being one the top 5 worst days of my life.
Yesterday, not counting seeing Harley off, was WAY better.  I was drunk by 2 and go-karting at 5.  I would just like to say that I'm the best go-kart driver in the world, maybe ever.  Angelo spun me out the 2nd time but I finished first the other two times we went.  Yeah, that's right boys, women are better drivers.  It was a really fun day.  I am unbelieveably hungover right now though.  I don't know exactly what I should do about that.  Besides shoot myself, of course.  I think I'm going to end this post and go vomit.  Stay tuned.

Answers to Jess' Questions

1) If I ever get a hold of a few bottles of Eristoff Blue Magic, would you chug them with me? Or would you just be the one telling me to chug them? ;)
How funny that I know the exact answer to this question.  I would tell you to chug, of course.  But again, I didn't realize it was liquor, I thought it was a malt beverage.  Seriously though, you're a champ Jess.

2) If you were restricted to drinking only one type of alcohol for the rest of your life what would it be and what brand would you choose?
Kahlua, for sure.  Funny how Jess comes up with all these alcohol questions.  I think Carrie and I have created a monster!

3) If you had the choice to either fight like Mike Tyson or talk like him, which one would it be?
Fight like him, of course.  Why would anyone want to talk like him?  And where did this question come from?? 

 4) If you were Tom, and I gave you my keys, where would you put them?
You didn't give me your keys.  No, I swear I never had them.  I have no idea where they are.  You must have put them somewhere.  Stop calling me, I don't know where they are. (inside joke)

5) Aren't you going to eat your brocolli?
I love brocolli.  Especially with cheese.  Us fatties have to have our cheese!

Answers To Julerie's Questionieros.

1) If you had to make 1 animal extinct to save the world (for unknown reasons), what would it be and why?
Cockroaches.  My gut instinct was to go with snakes but I think that they might be useful for some reason, controlling the vermin population and whatnot.  I know cockroaches aren't though.  They're the George W. Bush of the insect world.

2) What do you believe is your best quality?
My sense of humor.  Even though some people don't see it as such.  Some people aren't big fans of the dry/sarcastic humor.  That's okay.  But you can't be my friend.

3) What would you say has been your highlight and lowlight (is that a word??) of the year 2004 so far?
My highlight has for sure been the trip down the Danube and Castle Durnstein.  I was kidding about trains being magical but this was for real magical.  I got to share it with my best friends too.  I think most people know about my lowlight (sic) this year, it being the  third and final ending of things between Grant (aka Nate's former roommate) and I.  But now I'm very grateful for the way things worked out, it all came out the way it should have.  And without my low I don't think my highlight would have been quite so high.

4) What is one item you absolutely can't live without?
Although some people I'm sure think I couldn't live without my computer (Lee) I would say my car.  Naturally I need Turbo to get from point A to point B and when I'm feeling crazy point C, but I'm also very emotionally attached to him.  I hear that happens to stuff you name.  Which could explain why I still miss Stan The Tan Van. 
Honorable Mentions
My Bed
Squishy Bob
My Marenisco Athletics Hoodie (REPRESENT)

5) If you won a vacation to go anywhere in the world for a month, where would I find you?
This one is a total toss up.  It would either be on an African safari or scuba diving in Australia.  Both have been dreams of mine.  My mom and I are talking about going to Australia though so someday soon I'll be able to check that one off the list.  I'll buy a koala bear for everyone.  I hear they have an overabundance of them.

Dammit Nate, I Didn't Want To Think

1) When you rule the world, what's the first thing you'll outlaw?
When I rule the world I'm going to outlaw outlaws.  That will put a serious damper on all those westerns and I won't have to worry about train robberies.  Because when I rule the world we're going back to trains for sure.  They're so magical.

2) If aliens asked you to give up your right leg and in exchange they would give the world the technology for a flying car, would you do it? Absolutely not.  The way I figure it, someone will think of it eventually.  Dr. Emmitt Brown will come along someday.  Not only will his car fly, but it will fly through time.  Without my sacrificing an appendage. 

3) If there was one thing, only one, you could go back and do differently, what would it be? (Answers about college courses/ schedules/ timetables will be automatically exluded.)
Wow, this is a tough question.  I can't say that I regret anything in my life, it all made me who I am and provided for some interesting stories along the way.  Right now I would love to say I would go back and change the fact that I scrapped with Ashly on the floor last night because I have rug burns on both elbows and both knees but I don't think that the answer you're looking for.  Thinking makes my head hurt.  Okay, here we go, one thing.  This might go against the "college courses" exclusion, but I don't think so.  I'd stay at Findlay for one more semester.  They say it takes 6 months to learn to like something and I don't think I gave it enough time.  Leaving also spelled the beginning of the end of my horse career.  I really regret getting away from that, it's been a HUGE part of my life.

4) If there was a movie made about your life, what actress / actor would play Jaime?
As much as I would like to put Julia Roberts here, I'm thinking it would more along the lines of Bette Middler.

5) The U.P.? Ya or nay?  Okay, seriously, how did you remember this???? But of course you would. =)  Well I have to say YA, of course!  I take my bumper stickers very seriously.

Stealing From Julie

Taking a page from Julie's book, I'm looking to be "interviewed".  Everyone should leave me 5 questions as a comment and I'll answer them.  I guess it's an interesting way to gain personal insight.  Plus, I think that you all could come up with some entertaining questions. Unfortunately one of my questions to Julie was "if you were a woodchuck how much wood do you think you could chuck in one hour?".  I'm not sure that's exactly what she was looking for...So yeah, leave me a few questions.
I just read a poll on CNN.com that said that Germany came in as the most alcoholic nation because 17% of those interviewed said that the point of drinking is to get drunk.  The pollsters were shocked by this high number.  Um...what?  What is the point of drinking if not to get drunk??  Granted, 75% of the time I drink I don't reach any level of intoxication, but I still don't understand how that is not the point of drinking.  Am I an alcoholic?? Do I have issues?  Should I seek help?  Am I alone in thinking that that point of drinking is to get drunk?  Are 83% of those shotgunning beer, pounding shots, and chugging wine straight out of the box doing it just as a social thing?  You know, something to do.  Like playing chess or watching Conan.  "What are you going to do tonight George?"  "Oh, I don't know, I was thinking about watching a movie, chatting online, doing a two story beer bong, playing with my dog, and going to bed."  I'm guessing the poll was not of college students, but I'm still a little suprised.

 

Sign Up Today!

Well Hiawatha has come and gone for another year, a thought that is somewhat depressing.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, I'm talking about the Hiawatha Traditional Music Festival.  I've been going since I was 8 and have met some of my best friends there, namely one Paully Waully Doodle Hoehnen, who I lived with for a year and a half.  I'm not a huge fan of the music but I'm a huge fan of the fun.  This year was quite the drunk fest, Saturday night being the worst.  Or best, depending on what way you're looking at it.  The Kate Dawg and I started drinking about about 4-4:30, starting passing around the bottles of liquor around the campfire at about 10, and started dancing around a fire to the sound of a bunch of hippie banging on their drums at about 12:30.  There was ALOT of drunk dialing in there that I don't remember also.  I apologize to anyone I may have called.  Please refresh my memory on what we talked about next time we chat.  The moral of the story is that this weekend was unbelieveably fun, I'm sorry that it's over, and my toenails will never recover from walking around in the dirt with flipflops for 2 1/2 days straight.
On a different note.  I am currently looking for people to join Bridget and I on our campaign to bring back hightop sneakers.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Hightops.  They may not have made your legs look that great but they reaked of style and sophistication.  LA Gear and British Knight better get prepared for the onslaught of orders that are soon to be coming there way.  We'll start out slow, looking at vintage stores for the some happenin' hightops and wearing them to work with shorts so everyone can appreciate what we're trying to do.  Eventually it will start to catch on and Bridget and I will be free to start our own hightop manufacturing business.  We'll call it LABK.  Or LA Knights.  Oooh, I like that.  We will be looking for people to use in our promotions so just sign up by way of leaving a comment and I'll make sure that you receive the appropriate paperwork.

Jello Salad-Why?

I don't think there is anything that disgusts me more than jello salad. Why, oh why, would anyone think they were a good idea. I like jello, I like fruit. I do not, however, appreciate them when smooshed together in a weird gelationous mixture of nastiness. Soft soft squishy squishy oh there's a crunchy hard thing wonder what's coming next I think I just ate a pit more soft more squishy that grape was probably rotten oh my God why am I eating this. And that doesn't even cover the jello salads with carrots in them. Deeeeeeesgusting. Who comes up with this stuff? And why?
Jello salad definitely makes the top 5 list of things I will not eat.
1. Marachino cherries
2. Peanut butter (when not mixed with chocolate)
3. Scalloped potatoes
4. Nuts, except peanuts and even then  rarely do I feel the need.
5. Jello Salad

I cannot finish this post because I have to go eat some ice cream. Definitely on my foods I will eat list.

Plans For The Future

If you ever want to question everything in your life, go to a funeral for a young person. I've spent the majority of the day contemplating my life. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I don't hold grudges or stay mad at people longer than I should, I do my best to never say no when I can say yes, and people know that I'm always there for them. I may not always let people know that I love them but hey, that's just how I am. Most of them know anyway.
So today, naturally, I spent some time thinking about what I'd want my funeral to be like. Don't worry, this will not be melacholy and depressing. First of all, no one is allowed to wear black. It's depressing and just makes everyone feel worse. There better be every color of the rainbow there. Except indigo. Not a big fan of indigo.
Next, there better be no sappy music about angels. Everyone knows that I'm (hopefully) going to heaven and there will be angels there. Play some freakin' Metallica already. If anyone is going to play country, no George Strait. How about "Bubba Shot the Jukebox"? "Beer Man" would also be appropriate. And don't try to adapt it to be "Beer Woman." That's just dumb and I hate when people do it. Everyone knows I'm not a man. (I think)
I would also like my pallbearers to be wearing those weird sunglasses with the bushy eyebrows and big nose attached. That way no one will cry when they're hauling me out of the joint. And yes, they have to wear them for the entire ceremony.
And as for the eulogy, whoever gives it better not sit up there and talk about me like I was a saint. "She loved children and cared deeply about the dwindling blue whale population." No I don't. "She was a great person most of the time, she made us laugh, she made us think, she had a great rack, but DAMN could she be a sarcastic bitch. I think I saw her spit on a kid once too" would be more in line. (For the record-I have yet to spit on any children)
So yeah, that about covers it. Hopefully I'm so old when I die no one will even know who Metallica was, who sang "Bubba Shot the Jukebox," what a rainbow was (no ozone, after all), the blue whales will all be extinct, and spitting on kids is socially accpetable. Ah yes, I have dreams of a greater tomorrow.
I love you guys and I will probably never ever tell any of you that ever again. Don't expect me to. I'll punch you in the eye if you ask.

New Title

I shall heretofor be referred to as "Tubby McFatpants." Thank you and good day.

A Personal Note...And Reflections On White Trash Culture

I'm going to have to start this post on a sad note. My brother called me this morning to tell me that two guys that I grew up with died in a drunk driving accident last night. They were about 3 years younger than me, but they were pretty good friends with my brother and with my best friend's sister. One of them was a classmate's brother. I played Little League with them and went to highschool with them. When Nat told me about it I felt like I got punched in the stomach. Naturally I had to call Cat right away. Jacque (her sister) and Nathan could have so easily been with them, just as drunk, just as carefree. I'm pretty sure I don't have the emotional reserves to deal with anything happening to my brother, who is probably the person closest to me in the world. I keep thinking about their parents. I'm sure this will easily be the worst day of their lives, with a lot more bad ones to follow. It was also a wake up call. Everyone who drinks has driven drunk at least once. Never again. I haven't done it in a really long time but this just reinforces my dedication to the belief that walking 5 miles in the rain home from the bar is better than taking my life into my drunken hands. So please please please please please don't do it, if it's this hard to think about Thomas and Chippy then it would be a hundredfold worse having it be someone I'm close to.

And now, some reflections on white trash (WT) culture. After reading Nate's humorous recollections of the Looney Toons phase and how Looney Toons is now connected to those of the redneck persuasion it led me to think about the prevalent white trashiness in the area. There are the standard WT giveaways-trailer parks, NASCAR, the aforementioned Looney Toons paraphenalia, and Busch Light. You can be involved with one element without being considered white trash, but more than one and you're pushing it. So, if you're sitting in your double wide watching Dale Jr or drinking a Busch Light in your "Taz Team Racing" t-shirt then chances are you having some white trash blood running through your veins.

I would like to make the clarification between white trash and redneck here. Or at least tell you what I think the distinction is. White trash is a lifestyle, redneck is a choice. Rednecks (e.g. Jeff Foxworthy, my uncle Dave Z.) take pride in being redneck, and boast of it often. White trashers (e.g. Joe Dirt, Paul Hoffman) accept it as rote.

My question is this-Do WT people know they are white trash? If so, do they care? I know a couple that had a Dale Earnhardt wedding. The groomsmen wore black, yellow, red, and white tux combos and ties with 3s on them. I don't understand. Did they think this was okay? Another WT dead giveaway is bad English. "I ain't got no..." is a popular phrase. Or the plural form of you being "yous," as in "yous guys." I might be being a little paranoid here, but it almost seems like they have their own language and they're trying to keep us in the non-white trash society from understanding what they're talking about. Anyway, in case the answer to my question of whether or not WT is aware that they are, in fact, WT, I've formulated a list of things I consider to be white trashy. And before people accuse me of being a snob, I would just like to point out that I have partied at hunting camps, shined for deer, and knocked back a few Busch Lights. Doing so just does not constitute the majority of my life.

THE WHITE TRASH LIST
Regularly watches and can recite stats of all NASCAR races, probably has at least one friend on the amateur racing circuit
Can be found indulging in Busch Light or PBR (cans or 40s) regularly. Doesn't matter if it's warm, just has to be wet. Has used that phrase.
Thinks "dinge" is an actual color. Their favorite one, to be more precise.
A translator is needed to convert their terrible, double negative infused English into something decipherable.
As Nate said, they own at least one article of Looney Toons clothing. The diehards have Looney Toons tattoos.
One word-Mullet
Shining for/chasing deer is a regular Friday night activity. (This is actually really fun)
Goes to Jr/Sr keggar or any highschool party when they're 27 years old and think nothing of it.
Have lived and plan to live in Marenisco or Wakefield, MI your entire life. We're talking never ever getting out.

There are ALOT more things to be added to this list, but I don't want to go into all the standard white trash cliches like White Castle and corndogs. I'm speaking solely from my white trash experience. I, as an International Studies major, am very interested in other cultures and WT culture is one close to home. Perhaps I can prepare my master thesis on this subject...

By the By-If anyone who is reading this either does not want a link to their blog on my page or they want theirs added let me know.

Jaime v. Ashly, Round Two

If you're just tuning in, read my Jaime v. Ashly, Round One first and then go to ashlysmashly.blogspot.com and then come back and read this.

Ashly did have one very good and accurate point in her post refuting mine. I am way smarter than her. I'm glad she agrees. =) Basically, she agreed with me on every point, she just had a few things to add. A few things which I disagree with. They can all be disputed with two major points.
1. This movie was not supposed to be grounded in reality and would have been extremely boring if it had been.
2. This movie is not set in the current time. I'm not sure when it's supposed to be exactly, but they accepted artificial intelligence as same ol' same ol' so it's safe to say that it is sometime in the future. This succintly refutes her medical chainsaw argument. Who knows, there could be medical chainsaws in the future. The doctors acted like having to chop 4 metal arms off some dude was normal so it's safe to say that it had happened before.

Since it took her a billion trillion jajillion years to post her rebuttal I have lost my fervor for this argument so I'm going to end with this-I don't care what kind of crazy infection I get from his websemen, that's why we invented penicillin.

Jaime v. Ashly, Round One

Today being Tuesday, Ash, Amy and I decided to hit up BYOB night at the movies, Spiderman 2 being the movie of choice. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. However, my dear friend Ashly had some issues with this movie. I am here to state and refute her RETARDED argument. If you haven't seen the movie I'm sorry if I give away any pivotal plot points, I'll try my best not to.

Ashly Problem #1-The villian's name was Otto Octavius. He is given the nickname "Doc Ock". She was very concerned with this and didn't think it was a good name for a villian. Apparently "The Green Goblin" was uber clever. And really, like anyone would name their kid Peter Parker. How many times would that poor kid be asked how many pecks of pickled peppers he picked??

Ashly Problem #2-The artificial intelligence of the mechanical arms overtook Doc Ock's own brainpower and made him do bad things. She claimed this wasn't realistic. Yes, I'm sure that the makers of a movie called SPIDERMAN were really concerned with realism. Spiderman is, of course, based after a real man who shot spiderwebs out of his wrist, had an uncanny "spidey sense," superhuman strength, and unbelieveable acrobatic abilities. He just came up with the unfortunate name of "Arachnid Arnie" and never quite accomplished the level of fame he should have. Get real Ash! Doc Ock also accomplished nuclear fusion on a massive scale in an abandoned riverside warehouse but she had no problem with this.

Ashly Problem #3-Why would MJ leave her EXTREMELY hot (and I do concede that he was extremely hot) astronaut fiance on the alter to go be with Peter Parker/Spiderman? Uh, dude, he's Spiderman. Spiderman. What girl wouldn't want to be with Spiderman? Imagine what that guy can do with his hands, not to mention putting his spidey sense to good use. And seriously, there are lots of astronauts on the earth, relatively speaking, but only one Spiderman. One Spiderman with a delicious body and an extremely sexy hobby. Damn, I'm getting myself all worked up. I might have to go find Arachnid Arnie.

There are more arguments she had against this fantastic movie but I'm going to give her a chance to state her opinions before I tear them apart. Please stay tuned at ashlysmashly.blogspot.com. I would put a link in my profile but I'm too dumb to know how.

Do Over!

The first fourth of July that I've had off in mucho yearso turned out to be not as great as it should have been. I did get to do all of the standard 4th activities, save one. I went down to the MVFD's pancake breakfast (yum), watched the parade and got some killer candy, ate a brat, opened and started drinking a beer at 11:59 am, played in the volleyball tournament, and ate at the turkey feed. Most of this didn't take a huge amount of time, all except for the volleyball tournament.

It was after 1 and the volleyball tournament had already started and the girl that was supposed to be organizing our team hadn't shown up at all to tell us if we had one or not so I just considered myself doomed to sit this year out. Then Stive (Steve Hartmann, to those who don't know him as well) decided to get a team together completely last minute. Little did we know that we were going to end up playing until 8 pm. Yeah, that's 7 hours of volleyball. We did end up having a stellar team though and made it to the championship game against a team that we had already beat. We beat them in the first game of the match but then proceeded to lose the next two. OUCH! Dagger in the heart...Oh well.

I was anticipating being able to watch the fireworks the whole day and finding out that they had been cancelled on account of rain was devastating. The past few years I had been working at Birch Lake, which shoots off its own fireworks. Unfortunately, I was inside the lodge bartending during said fireworks. "Wow, that one sounded really pretty" became an oft used phrase. Oh well, there's always next year, which I will surely get off because I demanded a do over.

I did get to see all my friends, that was nice. Friday night bro Nate, his friend John, Carrie, Katie and I got a hotel room in Minoqua and went out to the bars. We. Were. WASTED. Nat got all overprotective of his OLDER sister when some guy wanted to go out to the beer garden and talk with me. He almost got in a fight. It was ridiculous. Needless to say I didn't meet anyone interesting down there. Come to think of it, there's a history of Nathan's overprotectiveness. He came up to visit me and he, Ash and I were hanging out with Grant and Nate at the Shamrock. Grant came up and kissed me, like people who are dating sometimes do. Nat did not like that at all. I believe his exact words were "If he does that again I'm going to fucking kick his ass." He also told me I could do better. Smart guy, that Nat. Ten minutes later he threatened to kick the ass of one of my guy friends who came up and slapped me on the butt at Upfront. Simmer down Cougar.

The next day was spent nursing my RAGING hangover (we had to stop 3 times for Katie, Carrie, and I to all puke on the way home) and spending time with my family from Georgia. I went down to the street dance to watch my dad's band play (not bad) but getting drunk was not even a possibility. So all in all it was fun, but not as fun as it should have been. I guess that's what happens when you have expectations that are too high.

The '90s

I must say, I'm extremely heartened at the response to my cartoon duck entry. Your support means alot. I will continue to delve into these hard hitting issues. As soon as I come across them, that is.

VH1 has a new series starting in a few days-I love the 90s. Beautiful. This, combined with our discussion of our JH/HS fashions over our 10:30 pm homemade dinner, has made me realize that I honestly miss the 90s. More exactly, the early 90s. Does everyone long for their early teen years? Or were the 90s just that cool? There was quality music (please remember NKOTB and Vanilla Ice), great movies (think Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Dumb and Dumber, and the Ace Venturas), and great TV shows (The Fresh Prince of Belair, Full House, and Hangin' with Mr. Cooper). There were also those great '90s phrases-"As if," "da bomb," "PHAT," "going postal," "my bad." Oh, and let's not forget that the always popular "Bling-Bling" was born in the '90s.

Let's talk about '90s fashion for a minute. I know we all remember those super cool attitude shirts. You know the ones with the faces that said thinks like "Dude", "I don't know" or "Not Impressed" (saw someone sporting on of those last year). Baggy jeans (miss that one), flannel shirts, GX, JNCO, windpants, inside out sweatshirts (don't know if that was just a Marenisco thing), Doc Martens, and mini backpacks. And then there were the sweet toys. Can you say Furby? Oh yeah, I remember hearing about Beanie Babies a few times too.

There was even great '90s food. Bubble tapes, Dunkaroos (Ash reminded me of those delicious little treats the other day), crystal pepsi (WHAT?), Jelly Bellies, Ring Pops, Snapple, Surge (whatever happened to Surge?), and Fruit by the Foot. What happened to these culinary treasures?

Sure, everything looks better in retrospect. I don't miss my bad hair or my terrible acne or my social awkwardness or my bad attitude, but still, the '90s were AWESOME! Playing DOOM, listening to Presidents of the United States of America, wearing my GX jeans, Airwalks, and inside-out sweatshirt and talking about who's funnier, the Fresh Prince or Mr. Cooper...that's the life.

I've noticed that I seem to have gotten away from talking about what's going in my life. That's because nothing is. I'll keep you posted if anything interesting does happen. Don't hold your breath.