Bad Days

I really don't understand why you can't just have a bad few minutes, or a bad hour, even a bad afternoon, you have bad days. Murphy (of Murphy's Law renown) takes a hold of you and just won't let go for 24 long, miserable hours. It's like a test of character strength. So here's the finale of my day with Murph:

Work sucked. Sucked bad. Real bad. That's all I'm going to say about work. After I got home from work (sucky work) all I wanted to do was drink myself into oblivion. Having no one to do this with, however, I decided that I'd get a Milwaukee Slugger and some Phish food ice cream from Pick-n-Save and watch Sahara (you were wrong Lee, I liked it a lot) for the second time in 24 hours. First, however, I had to urinate. So I go to get some toilet paper post urination and the holder flies off the wall and goes flying...into the toilet. Along with the entire roll of toilet paper. So I had to fish the soggy TP out of my own pee water and then go after the toilet paper holder. Germy mission, accomplished. Time to flush....or not. The damn toilet wouldn't flush. Plunge. Plunge. Plunge. Nothing happened. Nothing expect me splattering the same damn pee water all over my nice clean pajamas and nice clean face. Ew. So I did the mature thing and gave up. Yeah, that's right, I just left it there.

A little while and about 4000 calories later I had to pee yet again. Unfortunately I was faced with the problem of the non-flushing toilet of doom that I had left for myself a mere hour earlier (who needs to pee this much anyway). So there I go again with the plunger, like a hyperactive 8 year old with a brand new pogo stick, once again getting slightly older pee water on my NEW clean pajamas. DAMMIT. Finally I notice a shiny object peeking out from the toilet hole. Yep, it was another piece of the toilet paper holder. Somehow I hadn't even thought to look for it, let alone look for it in the toilet. Apparently my vigorous plunging aborted its attempt to go live with the alligators in the sewer. Or is that only in New York? Did I mention that I had cleaned the bathroom earlier this morning? So yeah, my nice clean bathroom was now splattered with toilet germs (although I cleaned the toilet earlier too so hopefully there weren't too many) so I had to break out the Scrubbing Bubbles (they do the work, my ass) yet again. Scrub scrub scrub. Now here I sit, staring like one possessed at the digital clock on my cable box as I listen to Forensic Files waiting, just waiting, for the second that it switches to 12:00, thus signifying that today is over and tomorrow is here which means my brothers soon will be as well.

22 minutes.

How Incredibly Inaccurate

So I went to the name website that Julie had on her blog to have my name analyzed. I'm not sure if any part of this assessment is even a little bit correct. You tell me.

Your First Name of: Jaime
Although the name Jaime creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid systems, and worry or mental tension.
As Jaime you are rather serious-minded, responsible, and stable. You have the gift of tact and diplomacy, and possess a charming, easy-going nature which endears you to others. You have a serious desire to understand the heart and mind of everyone, and could be very effective in a career or in volunteer work where you are handling people and serving in a humanitarian way. This name also gives you a love of home and family, and as a parent you would likely be fair and understanding.

TACT? CHARMING? INABILITY TO REALIZE GOALS? FAIR AND UNDERSTANDING PARENT? LACK OF CONFIDENCE? SERIOUS-MINDED?

Was I given the wrong name?

Pearl Harbor

I have had some extra time on my hands since I moved down here. Okay, so it's been a lot of extra time on my hands...After finishing the aforementioned Seasons 1, 2 and 3 of the Gilmore Girls I have to find some other way to fill the blank periods that generally exist between getting up and going to work and getting home from work and going to bed. Just to help you break that down a little better, I usually sleep for about 7 hours a night and work for 4 hours a day. Yeah, that's a lot of time to fill.

Well, to make a long story slightly shorter, I decided to fill some of that time today by watching Pearl Harbor. Yes, the much made fun of and critically maligned film starring one Ben Affleck Pearl Harbor. I've seen it a couple times before and, thanks to my brother's generosity, actually own it. I haven't seen it in awhile though so I decided to give it another try even though I intensly disliked it the first two times I watched it. Suprising result? I LIKED IT. Yes, that's right. I found myself emotionally moved and touched by the characters and the situation. Yeah, I need time fillers but sitting in my room blubbering like a 10 year old whose puppy just got steamrolled by a Mack truck is NOT my idea of a good one. Yet there I sat, crying because Red lost Betty (and who else would love him with that horrible stutter), Rafe lost Danny, his childhood best friend (and everyone knows that you can make new friends but they'll never be closer than the ones you grew up with) and Evelyn lost Rafe and then Rafe lost Evelyn and then Evelyn lost Danny (whore). I think I even shed a tear when Cook (played marvelously by the oh so talented Cuba Gooding Jr.) got his long awaited and richly deserved medal.

After reading this last paragraph do not feel bad if you're asking yourself "what the hell is wrong with that girl?" because believe me my friends, I'm asking myself the same question. Did Pearl Harbor just catch me on an off day? Was I especially vulnerable to loss of life and loss of love today? Has my already overinflated sense of patriotism taken me to scary, tear-shedding levels? Should I look into therapy? I just know that there has to be a support group out there somewhere, maybe even one in the Milwaukee area. Those of you who know me know that I very rarely cry about stuff that happens in real life, you know, stuff that matters, but sit me in front of a tear jerker and I go from zero to waterworks in one roar of the MGM lion. Knowing this about myself, I have no idea why I would chose to watch Pearl Harbor. What's next? Titanic? Note: While I hated Pearl Harbor very little compares to my extreme loathing of Titanic. Of course the ball-less wonder Leonardo DiCaprio might have something to do with that. Note Note: I NEVER found him attractive, even when it was the height of coolness to find him attractive.

Just in case any of you are truly worried I do want to point out that right now I'm watching Lethal Weapon, I don't predict anymore tears tonight.

Good Idea, Bad Idea

I make some good decisions in my life but I also make some really bad ones. Mostly good ones, which is why my life for the most part kicks ass.

Good idea: Moving out of the Yoop to find my way in the world.
Bad idea: Moving in with a 6 year old that makes me feel like a horrible person every time she cries (which is AT LEAST 10 times a night) because I literally want to hit her. And I love this kid to death, I really do. I just can't be around her ever.

Good idea: Finding a job.
Bad idea: Finding a job at That's Amore, where I manage to make about $200 a week serving REALLY old people pasta.

Good idea: Investing $2 in a rice cooker that works fantastically well and gets used all the time.
Bad idea: Investing $300 in a phone that has already quit working and cannot be fixed and even when it did work got used infrequently because I would usually rather poke out my eyes than talk to anyone on the phone.

Good idea: Insuring your $300 phone.
Bad idea: Not insuring your $300 phone. (Guess what...)

Good idea: Having lots of friends in the area that you move to.
Bad idea: Having friends who have girlfriends and therefore are only allowed to hang out with you in a. strictly chaperoned meetings or b. clandestine meetings.

Good idea: Cleaning.
Bad idea: Expecting help with cleaning.

Good idea: Using your time wisely.
Bad idea: Using your time to watch Seasons 1, 2 and 3 of "The Gilmore Girls" in record time.

Good idea: Being a judge in an apple pie bake off.
Bad idea: Eating an entire plate of apple pie with ice cream right after you've eaten a slice of meatloaf, a baked potato, bread and corn.

Good idea: Liking football.
Bad idea: Being a Vikings fan. (This, however, will not stop me, as I'm sure you all know)

Good idea: Posting a blog when you're happy.
Bad idea: Posting a blog when you're annoyed with the world and don't care who knows it.

So you see, I've come up with some bad ideas lately. Yeah, I know, there are far worse decisions I could have made and like I said, my life is good. I'm just having a baaaaaaaaaad day.

My Greatest Invention

The complete lack of ice cream in our apartment has forced me to scrounge for chocolately goodness. The result? Heaven.

Fudge frosting on marshmallows. Try it. And then follow it with a delicious cup of coffee. But you probably shouldn't do it at 10:30 pm like I did. I'm not going to sleep tonight, am I?

How does one go about getting a patent?

INJUSTICE!

Slavery, apartheid, concentration camps...all examples of grave injustices. I have another to add to the list. As I said on my last post, I started working at That's Amore last week. It's all well and good until UNTIL they tell me that on Packer game days everyone wears jeans and a Packer shirt. Fabulous. Well, at least they can't force you to wear a Packer shirt, right? WRONG. I work this Monday night. The Packers play Monday night. This means I am required by my job to wear a Packers shirt. Yeah, 'cause I own one. You have no idea how angry this makes me. It's like making me wear a shirt that says "I Love G.W. Bush" or "Yeah, Abortion!" or perhaps "Capital Punishment? I Say Fry 'Em All!". It's just something I disagree with on every single level. I'm going to have to find some way to make my extreme displeasure known. Perhaps an organized protest...I wonder if Cindy Sheehan is busy tomorrow.

This past Friday Sandy and I ventured up to the Green Bay area to see Party and G-Bear. I used this opportunity to get ahold of Julie, Dusty, Dallas and Trinity to have a good old NMU reunion. We took the Harleys to a big sports bar where I met everything. I was sober for a good 20 minutes and then it was shot time. I don't remember the last couple hours of the evening but apparently I almost fell off the bike a couple times on the way home. That ain't good. The good part of this whole scenario is that G-Bear had my phone the whole night so I could make any unnecessary calls that I wouldn't remember a word of. It was good to see all my friends though. I miss college....

Wow do the Vikings suck.