A Bird? A Plane? No It's Justice Jaime!
Well what do you know, just 8 short months after I donned the green gown and the cap with the classy gold tassel I finally got my first "real job". For the sake of making myself feel better I am going to pretend that this job doesn't kinda suck. I am now Custom Protection Officer for Wackenhut Security Corporation (go ahead, make fun of the name, I would). Basically I'm a security guard with a degree. A third shift security guard with a degree. That's right, third shift. Ick. But you gotta start somewhere, right? And this way I'll be able to keep my waitressing job, without it I still wouldn't be able to pay my bills, the security gig is only 32 hours a week.
You may now all refer to me as Justice Jaime. A name thought up with the help of my dear friend Ashly. She is now in the process of gleefully designing me a logo that involves the Statue of Liberty, two Js, a lightening bolt and a gavel. She also suggested I call myself a "Safety Crusader" which calls to mind a nice middle aged black woman with a bright orange vest diligently patrolling the neighborhood playground or an overanal member of King Richard the Lionheart's entourage. I vetoed this idea. Except for when I tell my mom about my new job. I agreed with Ash that "Moonlight Safety Crusader" sounds a lot safer than "Third Shift Downtown Security Guard in Killwaukee (thought of that one myself *buffs nails*), Wisconsin".
Sandy helped me celebrate landing the job by cracking a couple beers, handing me one, and promptly removing herself to her room to talk to her boyfriend for an hour while I played with and made supper for her daughter. Heartwarming. Nathan and Katie are coming down this weekend so maybe we can find a sitter for Daisy and celebrate right. And it is something to celebrate. I finally have something to add to my resume that doesn't involve food service. That's pretty much all this job is for me but I figure after a while at this job I'll be able to get one that I might actually want. If I ever figure out what that is.
3 Comments:
Amy and I were talking about the "Justice Jaime" cartoon. We envisioned your likeness as a short blonde with big boobs and a rapier wit. You'd be all in red spandex with a J on your chest, you'd have a cape, and your outfit would be a turtleneck (it is a kids' show and all). Amy said you should have a billyclub and some handcuffs so you could beat and apprehend "non-justice types." I added a tazer, because lets face it, the tazer is SWEET. And you'd have a dynamic theme song that I'm currently working on. That's all.
And now, a justice inspired quote from Dane Cook, as he discusses his favorite show, Justice Files:
"People would ask me, 'Dane, why do you like that show so much?' and I say, 'Simple, because I like justice. And I like files. And when you put them together, I could blow a justicey load.'"
Congrats on the new employment and all. Justice Jaime is a swell persona, but is missing one thing: A back story! Sarcastic Safety Crusaders just don't fall out of the sky, you know. (Unless you're talking about Superman. He in fact did just fall out of the sky.)
Jaime Bouvette began life as a normal everyday person in Smallville... er, Maurinescho. She had a normal childhood, until at the age of 9, she saw a local hooligan steal some candy bars and ice fishing gear from Leo's Grocery. (I assume Leo's Grocery has ice fishing gear of some sort. In the Miironesco I envision, every store sells ice fishing gear.) Jaime vowed that she would some day fight those that slap at the strong hand of security. She would never again stand by helplessly while others laughed in the face of Justice. She had to take on another identity all together. A beacon of hope through the dark cloak of the third shift. A voice for the insecure, a lycra skinned hero of the night with billy clubs, tasers and big, crime preventing breasts! Oh, and throwing stars!
She would become JUSTICE JAIME: Safety Crusader!!!!
Of course, Justice Jaime has to have a couple of supervillians. That's why we have to introduce "Day Job" and Daisy aka Kid Roommate. Join us next week! Same Safety Crusading time, same Safety Crusading channel! BTW - Congrats again and be careful with the throwing star...sharp.
Nate
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Big crime preventing breasts!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!! Nate Holtslander, you slay me. And I love the alternate spellings for Marenisco. Put THAT in your Wackenhut and smoke it.
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