Whatever Can Go Wrong....

10:45 pm: Drive to work, note the temperature (-3)
11:00 pm: Arrive at work, am informed that the turnstile and the exit arm gate is not working because of the cold.
11:30 pm: Leave to go put gas in Wackenhut truck.
11:45 pm: Return after putting $.30 worth of gas in gas tank. The nozzle was frozen. Unfortunately there is no way to note this on the receipt. Will look like a dumbass when gas bills are reviewed.
12:15 am: Fall on ice, scrape palms
2:00 am: Make sweet sweet love to the space heater, as intense physical contact is the only possible way to keep warm in the guard shack.
3:00 am: Turn on car to check temperature. (-12)
5:00 am: Attempt to resynchronize exit swing gate and arm gate. Swing gate is now stuck open.
5:30 am: After many attempts to fix the gates, which involves driving the truck in and out of the facility upwards of 50 times, call the security manager.
6:00 am: Cut open lip after whacking mouth on arm gate while attempting to crank it up after it mysteriously decided to come down after 7 hours of being stuck in the up position...while a car was driving through. No damages were sustained.
6:15 am: Find out their cell phone charger is not working. Probably my fault.
6:20 am: Drive my car outside gates. Turn off car.
6:30 am: Attempt to restart car. Car does not start.
6:31 am: Contemplate crying.
6:45 am: Car mysteriously starts.
7:00 am: Waiting for relief.
7:01 am: Waiting for relief.
7:02 am: Waiting for relief.
7:03 am: Waiting for relief.
7:04 am: Waiting for relief.
7:05 am: Relief arrives. She is instructed to drive her car through the entrance gates and drive the truck out the exit. Proceeds to drive car in entrance gates...and out exit gates. Contemplate how people can make it through life on only one brain cell.
7:10 am: Red light.
7:11 am: Red light.
7:12 am: Red light.
7:13 am: Red light.
7:14 am: Long wait at four way stop.
7:15 am: Green light!!!
7:16 am: Red light.
7:17 am: Red light.
7:20 am: HOME SWEET HOME!!!!
8:00 am: Stare at ceiling, wait for feeling to return to limbs.
8:15 am: Sweet release.