Bumper Stickers

As I was driving around (and around and around and around and around) NMU today searching in vain for a parking spot I noticed a proliferation of bumper stickers. Bad bumper stickers. The first one I happened upon said "The World Is The Most Messed Up Place in the Whole World." Pardon??? Is this witty? At all? NO. The next one said "Did you ever stop to think and then forget to start again?" While mildly clever (for about a second) it is not something I would like plastered on the back of my $20,000 vehicle. Hell, it's not something I'd want on the back of my 10 speed. Yet another doozy was the ol' "I don't want a slice of the pie, I want a whole different pie" What wrong with our pie? Too good for our pie? ASS. Basically the moral of this story is that bumper stickers are stupid and NMU really, really needs to do something about their parking situation. To make us pay $65 for a parking pass and then not provide us with enough places to park?? That's bullshit!!! Today, after driving around for FORTY-FIVE FREAKIN' MINUTES looking for a spot I finally jumped the curb and parked on the grass, next to about 15 other people. I arrived back at my car just in time to see Public Safety snapping a ticket under my windshield wiper. ON THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES. Give it to me up the ass one more time NMU. Watch out though, I'm starting to like it.

FUCKING KIDS

Oh no, that's not a rant on the wee ones in society, it's an expression of utter delight. It was one of many, many great expressions used in the past three days. Let me just start this out by saying that Tuesday night was the funnest night I've had since, well, forever.
Monday night Ashly and I got into a HUGE fight that ended up abruptly with her saying "I'm not fucking going tomorrow, this is fucking bullshit." Bridget and I woke her up the next morning to convince her to come, which she barely did. Man am I glad we could. We had a FRICKIN' BLAST. If you think that I'm repeating myself it's because it was that much fun.
Tuesday we left early, but not as early as intended, and got down to Mill-Town around 1ish, met Ang and The Deej (Mike), and headed to Great America. Needless to say, that was fun. How could rollercoasters and a giant swing not be? We got caught in a deluge and even that was fun.
Tuesday night (funnest night of my life (FNOML) we got ready and headed to the bars pretty early. Notice how I didn't mention eating dinner. That's because we didn't. Ugh. There was some drunkeness, some Greek food, some pictures with cabbies, you know, the usual.
In an effort to not bore the hell out of anyone reading this, I will just rehash my favorite memories of the past few days. If you've read Ash's blog these may be repeats. I'm sure I'll think of more after I post this.

1. Ash doing her techno jive outside of Cush because there was no outside wall and you really didn't need to actually enter the bar to hear the music.
2. Angelo's "How was yer shower?" "Did you wash all your parts" comments. These must be said in a scary, scratchy voice at a very loud volume. Repeatedly.
3. The Deej, when talking to a hobo (Truck) trying to get some spare change "No, I don't have any, but I appreciate your effort"
4. POLAAAAAAAAAASKI.
5. The sandwich throwing magic that is Jimmy John's.
6. Beej Threve, Under the Beej, Threve. Joe Eighty-Teen, Under the Joe, Eighty-Teen
7. Ashly spraying Bridget with a bottle of beer for calling herself fat.
8. "NAKED REFRIGERATOR PICTURES!!!" Note: There was no full nudity.
9. The startling realization that if you say anything loud, it becomes funny.
10. The discovery of my new hangover prevention method.
11. The re-discovery of DRRRRRRRRRRRRY ROASTED! (Also must be said in a scratchy, scary voice)
12. The birth of the new definition of "kids." The proliferant use of such word.
13. The Deej screaming his lungs out going UP the ramp on The Viper rollercoaster. The rest of us joining in, with sporadic yelling of "This is totally kids" interrupting our cries of "terror".
14. And finally, EVERYTHING

If you can't tell, I had the greatest vacation ever. The only negative point is that it was extremely short. I'm sorry to all for the repeated screaming of "How was yer shower?" "Did you wash all yer parts" "Polaaaaaaaski" and "Drrrrrrrrrrrry roasted" you will undoubtly hear as a direct result of this vacation.

Morning

Wow it's early. We're talking before 7 here. I don't even remember the last time that happened. It's still dark out. Did anyone know that it's still dark out at like 6:30? Oh wait, I did, because that's when I usually go to bed. Hmm...I think I'm going to have to rethink my sleeping habits.

It's Been Awhile!

Wow, I haven't posted anything in awhile. I guess that's because I've been too busy hurting my ankle, getting a haircut, and running to Impaled to get an impromtu tattoo. Oh wait, no, that was all yesterday. So yeah, I'm basically a completely different person that I was when I woke up yesterday morning. Okay, maybe not, but my appearance has been slightly altered. That's the same, right? Anyway, this post was basically to inform people that I haven't posted in awhile. I'm so informative! More to come later.

Reality Based Dreaming

As I sit here watching the Opening Ceremonies of this year's Olympics I'm forced to remember that once upon a time, my dream was to compete in the games. It didn't matter what I was competing in, as long as I made it eventually. But, seeing as the average age of competitors keeps getting lower and this year seems to be around 11 1/2 I think my dreams are pretty much crushed. Although equestrians are usually older. I still have a chance! OR NOT. Unless they introduce competitive napping or retort spewing into the mix I think I'm doomed to a life of athletic mediocrity.
It's kind of weird to think of how dreams change. My sights are so much lower now. Some might say more realistic, which is true, but it's still sad to think that I'm no longer a dreamer. I guess I'm firmly grounded in reality. My big dream right now is to see 100 countries before I die. So far I've gotten Canada, Mexico, Austria, Hungary, and the Czech Republic under my belt. Oh yeah, I've visited the US a time or two. Six down, 94 to go! Speaking of, I talked to my study abroad advisor yesterday and it looks like I'll be going to Costa Rica. The program in the Dominican Republic didn't come as highly recommended. I can't wait to go! And I'll be done on April 1 so there's a chance I might actually be getting my diploma in May instead of having to wait until August for everything to come through. The only problem is that I have to get two letters of recommendation from professors. I haven't exactly developed close relationships with any of my professors. I'm one of those students that is content to sit back and observe rather than actually be a part of the class. Not to mention I usually chat online through all of my classes, which is definitely not appreciated. I'm sure you are all just fascinated to read about this...Anyway, Katie will be here with Rossi (her golden retriever puppy) so I suppose I should get my lazy ass off my bed.

America: Only The Skinny May Apply

Bridget and I went to Appleton to go shopping yesterday. I'm a fan of the style of Hollister and Abercrombie jeans so I thought I'd pick myself up some. Not happening. Can you believe that the biggest size that Abercrombie carries is a 10. A freakin' 10. And they put them on the top shelf so us "fatties" have to struggle to get them (probably as a punishment for our extreme size 10 obesity) because Lord knows that if you're "fat" you must be tall too. At Hollister the largest size is an 11, which I'm sure caused them lots of sleepless night. Should we make it 9 as to protect our image? We'd hate to have any of those normal looking people wearing our clothes, they'd ruin our rep. Nah, I guess we'll be nice to the hugers (bro Nate's word). Okay, now I would just like to say that I can wear these sizes 10 and 11, but I really don't feel like squeezing myself into a pair of jeans every morning just because they say Abercrombie. The whole experience made me very angry so it's not like I would have bought anything from there anyway. And people wonder why so many young girls have eating disorders. Well, if the cool thing to wear is Abercrombie and you have to be under 130 (being 5'11" would also help but there's a little less you can do about that) to wear Abercrombie the natural thing to do is starve yourself, right? I was so frustrated I quit shopping. Making my okay to shop there list now are American Eagle and Gap, they have options (read: Jeans for short, chunky people!).
So now I'm off to run away my fatness so I can be the perfect size 6 that society deems still too fat. Yeah, right, like I'll ever be a size 6. Like I'd ever want to. Us "fat" chicks are fun! Besides, dieting is too hard nowadays. Remember when your doctor told you to just eat less and exercise more? Now it's more along the lines of "cut out any food that might have any possibility of giving you energy. You can eat chicken, but only on sunny days. Vegetables are okay if you're in Oklahoma or Oregon, but they're extra bad if you had braces when you were in junior high. Don't even think about touching chocolate or anything else that once gave you pleasure unless you're in a city that rhymes with 'Crisco' and one parents' name is Pat. We really caution against eating fruit. In fact, you'd better stay Lemon Scented Pledge and Orange Glo just to be on the safe side. Just eat bacon for every meal and you'll be skinny in no time. Um, you don't really care if you die of a heart attack at 32, right?" Right, I can really see myself strictly adherring all the guidelines of todays fad diets. Please excuse me, I hear an entire loaf of bread calling my name.

A little add-on: I just purchased a scale and I will soon be joining the ranks of those on one of todays fad diets. *cries a little*

Three sexy astronauts invade a desolate planet in the distant future, and learn the world is being overrun by intelligent apes who have a passion for lesbian eroticism. (Misty Mundae)

Finally Gonna Finish This!

2. Pajamas-For those of you who have spent any time with me you know that I practically live in pajamas. Sure, it's nice to dress up once in awhile, but it's ALWAYS nice to slip on a pair of flannel pants and a tee shirt. They're mutli-purpose...they can be warm and cozy, cool and comfy, or sleek and sexy. And when I'm wearing pajamas I'm never worrying about whether or not they make me look fat because of course they do! In fact, I might have to go change right now.

1. Going Home-I'm a very independent person but there is something so comforting about going home. My family is always happy to see me. My mom makes me breakfast and does my laundry, my brother takes me fishing, my grandma takes me out to lunch, my dad and I watch some TV, and I go out with my friends. Not to mention that Kiva and Harley are/were always overjoyed to see me. When I go home I know that no matter what I do, no matter who I become, and no matter where I end up, I can always, always, always go back home.

So that rounds out my list. The End.

10 Things I Love About Everything Cont...

5. Beer-Oh sweet deliciousness, how I love thee. "He was a wise man who invented beer"-Plato If one of the greatest ancient philosophers thought it was a great thing, who am I to disagree? The hoppsy goodness, the wheaty smoothness, the rich barley flavors...beer is a beautiful thing. Favorites include Rolling Rock, Michelob Golden Light, Stiegel, Pilsner Urquell (tastes like bananas!), Molson Canadien and for darker beers Amber Bock and Newcastle. Those that make the shit list include Labatt Blue, Heineken, and Becks Dark.

4. Winning-There is nothing better than coming out on top, #1, ahead of the pack. It's such a great feeling. I, admittedly, carry it a bit too far although I did get very used to losing during my years at Marenisco High School. I guess that's what happens when you play varsity basketball in 8th grade. I'm way too competitive, the worst instance being the "cleanest placemat" contest I had with Norb. Whether it's beating Paul in cribbage, tearing it up on the jump course (miss you Harley! =( ), kicking ass in volleyball, or beating Daisy, Sandy's 4 year old daughter, in Go Fish I absolutely love to win.

3. The NFL/Minnesota Vikings-I'm not trying to get all macho here or anything, I hate watching baseball and basketball and I don't really understand hockey that well, although I'm working on that one, but I just fucking LOVE football. I will sit there on Sunday and watch pregame starting at 11 and continue on until the late night game on ESPN. And don't even try to talk to me on Monday nights. I hate the Super Bowl because it signifies the end of the season...February to September is a looooong time! Naturally, my love of football carries over to a deep love of MY team, the Minnesota Vikings. Say what you will, they're my team. And no one could ever call me a bandwagon fan. I'm sure that I'll get some sort of comment like "So, how many Super Bowls did the Vikings win?" (hopefully this will deter that) but I don't care. At least they're not the Packers, who would most definitely make my hate list, probably somewhere near the top. Thinking about the Packers and their INCREDIBLY ANNOYING fans, who for some reason think that they're better than everyone because their team plays outside in the cold (which is really just stupidity, like guys who are proud of being able to crush beer cans on their heads) and because they have Brett Favre (hate to say it guys, but he's getting OLD)makes me want to scream. I'm not kidding. I'm thinking about screaming right now actually. Oh, there I go.

Okay, I don't have the patience to finish this right now, I'll have to get back to it tomorrow. Bear with me here.

10 Things I Love About Everything

For those of you who have seen Nate's post "10 Things I Hate About Everything" this is my positive spin on the subject. For those of you who haven't, it'll just seem like a random post. I doubt that I'll be able to go 1-10, as I seem to have a mild form of ADD but I'll struggle to get there eventually.

10. New Socks- They just feel so damn good. If the new socks v. sex debate came up I would generally have to say new socks. Yes, I love them that much. I especially love the one with the ribbing around the arch of the foot. It's a sort of warm, cottony heaven. Those of you who have seen my sock collection know of my true appreciation of this wonderful article of clothing.

9. Sleeping In-There's much to be said about early to bed, early to rise, but there's also something to be said about early to bed, late to rise. Waking up, squinting madly at the clock (this is probably just me and my extreme nearsightedness) and noticing that it's well after the time you should have been up but you just don't care because it felt so damn good. Bonus points if there's someone else sleeping in with you. That way you can do that early morning I'm too hot get away from me oh wait I'm waking up a little more and I'm now craving human contact oh my God what is that thing no way it's too early for that well okay but make it quick I was just kidding slow down that was fun let's go take a shower now sort of thing.

8. Romantic Comedies-Guys, I know that you're required by the Y chromosome to say that you hate these but I know deep down somewhere you secretly love them. How could you not? They're so light and airy and rarely involve anything thinking whatsoever. Much like some people I know. My major exception is Sleepless in Seattle. Damn that movie is irritating. Meg Ryan is a rather annoying actress as it is but her in that role is just a little too much.

7. Falling in Love-Yes, I realize that this list is rather girly right now, but just wait. And, after all, I am a girl. Yes, I know some of you are shocked. Get over it or I'll beat you up. Anyway, back to falling in love. It's the best feeling in the world and those of you that have been in love, which I assume almost everyone has, can attest to it. The excitement, the anticipation, the happiness, it's all just a great feeling. It's only happened to me once but I'm going to make damn sure it happens again. Someday. When I stop being a cold hearted bitch, that is. =)

6. Fishing-Somehow this past time managed to make Nate's honorable mentions on the hate list but it's one of my favorite things to do when I'm home. I'm not talking going out for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours (whoa, sorry, had a flashback to my childhood for a minute there. Thanks for that emotional scar dad, not that I didn't love trying to hang my ass off the back of the boat to piss) but going out for a couple hours is always so much fun. Just sitting in the canoe in the sun (which invariably turns to a torrential downpour) and catching pan fish, a few bass, the occasional pike, and the one time only accidently almost caught Muskie (imagine three chicks in a canoe and a giant man-eating fish). Fishing always leads to great stories of triple snags, following boy scouts, and broken props.

Well, as originally suspected, I'm tired of writing and I'm on to the next thing. Later kids.

J. Lynn Bouvette

We went and saw that M. Night Shyamalan movie, The Villiage, last night. WEIRD. Very weird. And speaking of weird, what's up with the "M. Night"? What's his first name? Marty? Merle? There were a few other suggestions bandied about but I'm pretty sure it must be Mortimer. Anyway, if you want your head messed with, go see the movie.
I have issues with scary movies. I just don't see the point. Why, oh why, do some people like to be scared? Whenever I'm sitting in the movie theatre with my heart racing and a scream caught in my throat all I can think of is "is it over yet?" not "man, this near heart attack feeling is FANTASTIC." The same thing with sad movies, I just don't get it. Why would anyone go to a movie just to feel bad? "Hey, I'm just feeling too damn happy today, I'd better go find a reason to cry." People are sick, just sick. Not that I'm saying that movies shouldn't have sad parts, they just shouldn't end sad. Titanic wouldn't have been the same if Jack hadn't died. Although I didn't find that particularly sad, I wish that little girly man would sink to the bottom of the ocean in all of his movies, preferrably in the beginning. Another point, Mufasa dying in The Lion King. Yeah, it was sad, but it had to happen. How else would he have met Timon and Pumba? Hakuna Matata baby. I'm talking A Walk To Remember sort of movies. Why, oh why, would they have her die. Like there couldn't have been some miracle cure? Sadistic movie writing bastards.
As I'm writing this, I'm forced to come to the question of why I would let a movie affect me like that anyway. Why do I get scared at movies but I'm rarely scared in real life? Exception: Snakes. Why would a movie tug at my heartstrings when it takes ALOT for me to cry in real life? Exceptions: Having my heart broken, friends dying too young, and the sale of long possessed equines. Hey, what do you know, those have all happened in the past three months. So I'm set for awhile, I can look forward to not crying for a VERY long time. Yay for me!!! =)
Another movie note, last night we picked up an ad for an upcoming movie-The Story of the Weeping Camel. Uh, what? It's about an albino camel that gets rejected by his mother. That sure sounds like an action packed adventure, here's my hard earned $7. Seriously, is there anything they won't make a movie about? Coming Soon! The Adventures of Wally the Junebug, Hydroelectric Dams: A Love Story, and The Secret Lives of Petunias. Whatever Hollywood.