Bo Duke, Luke Duke and the General Lee

DO NOT TAKE THE GRE. I REPEAT, DO NOT TAKE THE GRE.
You think I'm kidding, don't you?
Ash and I decided that taking the GRE was in our future's best interest so we drove our asses alllll the way down to the "Mill-Ticket" to accomplish our goal. That's like driving 6 hours to spend some quality time in hell. After a brief stay in Brown Deer, the least hospitable place I've ever been, where we were barely acknowleged at the mall, forgotten at Applebee's, and picked up some McIHateYous at good ol' Mick Dee's, we woke up at the ass crack to take the test from hell. Ash and I both managed to fuck up some part of it. Yay for us.
After we finished we decided to see how many times we could go down the wrong road. Let me tell you something, we're really f-in' good at it. The ol' General Lee ended up hanging a lot of Larrys. We FINALLY found our hotel in the end, after choosing the wrong direction 3 times in a a row out of 4 possible directions. Angelo met us at the hotel and we made him drive as much as possible for the remainder of the weekend. Partly because Ash and I got well-deservedly wasted that night. I also had a well-deserved hangover the next day...But, as Ash put it, I'd rather be puking than taking the GRE.
This is Bo Duke, signing off.

Laying In Bed

Laying in bed when you can't sleep has to be the most thought provoking experience I can think of. Some of these thoughts don't make a lot of sense. Like what happens if you have an endangered animal but it only eats endangered plants? Do you kill the animal and save the plants? Or do you let the animal live until it eats the plants into extinction and then dies out itself? Honest to God I contemplated this for quite some time last night. I finally came to the decision that we need to just let nature take its course. Maybe the plant species will somehow find a way to survive. Then, naturally, my thoughts drifted to finding my soulmate. Hey, I'm a girl after all. But then, THEN I started thinking about endangered animals finding soulmates. I mean, it would be so hard. There are 6 billion people on the earth and I can seem to find someone worth dating AND interested in me enough to date me. Think if I were a black rhino and there were only like 7 other black rhinos and they lived like a hundred miles away from me. What then???? Do I settle? Or do I hold out for the perfect one but possibly put the future of your species in jeopardy? I would really like to tell you at this point that I just made this all up, but alas, that's not true. Ash can't sleep it's because she's worrying about what grad school she'll go to, whether she'll get her GA job, etc. etc. I lay awake and worry about what I would do I were a lonely black rhino.
Please give me something else to think about.

Stop the Robbers!

For any of you would think that I have been taken hostage by a group of geeks (Cat) I would like to assure that I have not. I am the leader of the group of geeks. And we only take hostages for the length of time it takes to implant our mind control device. You won't remember a thing. If you wake up with a need to calculate logrithms or build a lightsaber, you'll know. But you'll be powerless to stop us and our plan of word domination.

Stop The Robbers Enjoy Safe Streets

Addict!

I've added a few new members to the family of Jaime's Addictions. Don't worry, beer, as always, remains the patriachical figure. These new additions include coffee and Star Wars. My new version of heaven is to sit in my living room, watching The Empire Strikes Back (unquestionably the best Star Wars movie) and sipping on some Folgers French Vanilla. Unless it's the weak shit I made this morning. Apparently I don't quite have the coffee making skills Ash does. The strange thing about both of these things is people either love them or they hate them. There is no "What do you think of Star Wars?" "Well, it's alright, I guess." Coffee is the same way. You either take a sip and start choking in disgust (which is what Bridget did for about 15 minutes yesterday) or you take down the whole pot.
Okay, let's discuss Star Wars for a minute because, like Lee, I think the recent release of the trilogy on DVD is highly blogworthy. Here's my number one question-How could anyone hate these movies??? They have EVERYTHING! Action, adventure, drama, comedy, romance, and horror (that emperor guy is one nasty lookin' dude). There are attractions for males (Lea), females (Han Solo) and any sort of creature with excessive hair (Chewbacca, the Ewoks). Yesterday I was asked the question "Are STILL watching Star Wars?" several times. What do you mean? You can't just watch one!!! They're the Lays of movies. I'm just glad that I wasn't alive when they came out in the theatres for the first time. I would have gone crazy waiting for the next one to come out!! Especially after Empire, which Lee pointed out does not really have a happy ending. I think that it would have been marvelously happy if they had just left C3PO disassembled after he got blasted by that Storm Trooper....*grumbles* I hate that guy. Anyway, I think that anyone that doesn't like Star Wars should be tied to a chair and forced to watch them until they appreciate them. I think half the problem is that they just don't understand what is going on. Or that they're stupid.
For those of you who may be worried right now, I'm not one of those crazy people who are going to start collecting SW action figures or buying Star Wars Trivial Pursuit...Oh yeah, and I don't plan on going to a "con" (Ashly's word).
And hey, just think, it's better than crack.

Top 5 Addictions
(Note: None of these are actual physical addictions, please don't feel like you need to direct me towards rehab)
1. Beer
2. Football
3. Coffee
4. Progresso Soup
5. Trilogies (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, The Mummy (one of the greatest movies of all time), Mummy Returns, Scorpion King combo, Back to the Future (ONE-POINT-TWENTY ONE-GIGAWATTS!!!), Silence of the Lambs, The Mighty Ducks, Indiana Jones, Matrix (although they did go downhill (alot)))

Runner up-Parentheses

May The Force Be With You

Sympathy?

My brother and I got into a discussion the other day after we were severly chastised by our dear mama about our lack of sympathy when my cousin Katie smoked a deer about 8 hours after she had bought her car, the first major purchase she has ever made. Don't get me wrong, we feel really bad for her and told her that...for the first 5 minutes. After that we got carried about with the extreme humor to be found in the situation. She had barrelled over a porcupine corpse on the way to Mercer, narrowly missed a dead rabbit, and then hit a spiker with her brand new car in about 2 hours. This shit is funny people. The fact that my brother and I were both astonished that people, especially Katie, did not find this as funny as we did led us to believe that sympathy is genetic and probably not a dominate gene. We don't seem to have it. My dad has a limited supply of sympathy, as do Nat and I. Sure, we can both console people and feel bad for them for a little while but then enough is a freakin' 'nough, fix your problems instead of sitting around cryin' about them. There are million of people dying of AIDS without enough money to buy food for them and their 8 equally AIDS ridden children, much less medicine. That's a problem. Global warming is melting our polar ice caps. That's a problem. There are alligators living in the sewers of New York City. That's a problem. I guess I consider anything that can be fixed by a little work and creative think not deserving of my sympathy. Don't get me wrong, I will sit there and show you how sorry I feel for you...and then I will give you a swift kick in the ass and tell you to get your ass in gear and either deal with the problem or fix it.
You think that's bad? My brother has a friend who is racked with the question of whether or not he should file for divorce from his wife who has been less than good to him. When telling Nat that he just couldn't bring himself to fill out the papers and saying that he just didn't know what to do about the situation Nat said, loosely quoted, "Give me the fucking papers, I'll fill them out and you can just sign them. You need to get rid of that cracked out whore."
If I had the capability to make a punnett square detailing my theories on the heredity qualities of sympathy on my blog I would. But I can't so I guess you're just going to have to take my word on this one. It's not that I don't care that you just hit a deer with your brand new car people, or that your boyfriend broke up with you because someone told him you had the clap, or that you got a bad grade on your test, or that you accidently burned the roof of your mouth on a marshmallow, it's that I don't know how to show you I care...and that I'd much rather make fun of the situation than whine about it.