Bad Days

I really don't understand why you can't just have a bad few minutes, or a bad hour, even a bad afternoon, you have bad days. Murphy (of Murphy's Law renown) takes a hold of you and just won't let go for 24 long, miserable hours. It's like a test of character strength. So here's the finale of my day with Murph:

Work sucked. Sucked bad. Real bad. That's all I'm going to say about work. After I got home from work (sucky work) all I wanted to do was drink myself into oblivion. Having no one to do this with, however, I decided that I'd get a Milwaukee Slugger and some Phish food ice cream from Pick-n-Save and watch Sahara (you were wrong Lee, I liked it a lot) for the second time in 24 hours. First, however, I had to urinate. So I go to get some toilet paper post urination and the holder flies off the wall and goes flying...into the toilet. Along with the entire roll of toilet paper. So I had to fish the soggy TP out of my own pee water and then go after the toilet paper holder. Germy mission, accomplished. Time to flush....or not. The damn toilet wouldn't flush. Plunge. Plunge. Plunge. Nothing happened. Nothing expect me splattering the same damn pee water all over my nice clean pajamas and nice clean face. Ew. So I did the mature thing and gave up. Yeah, that's right, I just left it there.

A little while and about 4000 calories later I had to pee yet again. Unfortunately I was faced with the problem of the non-flushing toilet of doom that I had left for myself a mere hour earlier (who needs to pee this much anyway). So there I go again with the plunger, like a hyperactive 8 year old with a brand new pogo stick, once again getting slightly older pee water on my NEW clean pajamas. DAMMIT. Finally I notice a shiny object peeking out from the toilet hole. Yep, it was another piece of the toilet paper holder. Somehow I hadn't even thought to look for it, let alone look for it in the toilet. Apparently my vigorous plunging aborted its attempt to go live with the alligators in the sewer. Or is that only in New York? Did I mention that I had cleaned the bathroom earlier this morning? So yeah, my nice clean bathroom was now splattered with toilet germs (although I cleaned the toilet earlier too so hopefully there weren't too many) so I had to break out the Scrubbing Bubbles (they do the work, my ass) yet again. Scrub scrub scrub. Now here I sit, staring like one possessed at the digital clock on my cable box as I listen to Forensic Files waiting, just waiting, for the second that it switches to 12:00, thus signifying that today is over and tomorrow is here which means my brothers soon will be as well.

22 minutes.