Quack!

Has anyone noticed the proliferation of cartoon ducks? Why are there so many cartoons featuring ducks? How do they become super heros and problem solvers? Why not tigers? Or dogs? Or any animal that is remotely cool, at least? Has anyone every seen a duck and been like man, look at that magnificent beast? Or seen a paragraph start with so many questions? But think about it, there's Duck Tales (woohoo), Donald Duck, The Daffy Duck Show, The Mighty Ducks, Darkwing Duck, Duck Dodgers, The Dinky Duck Show, Duckman, Quack Pack. And those are just the ones that I can remember offhand. That's alot of ducks.

Has anyone ever noticed that Launchpad appears in both Duck Tales and Darkwing Duck? Apparently he was such a charismatic character that they could stand to let him go when Duck Tales ended. I wonder what happened to make Launchpad end his service to Scrooge McDuck (or Mr. McD, as Launchpad would say) and go work for Darkwing. Was there some terrible rift? You have to admit, Scrooge, although he seemed tough on the outside, was a good employer. He forgave Launchpad time and time again. If someone crashed one of my planes not once, but time and time again, you can be damn sure that his out of work ass would be sitting on the curb.

And now, to follow my duck dissertation, I'm forced to ask myself a difficult question. How boring has my life become that I have plenty of time to sit around and contemplate the complexities of cartoon ducks? This f-ing sucks.

Do It Yourself?

So yeah, I'm sick. It's the end of June and I have a freakin' cold. Shouldn't you get colds when it's, well, COLD? Whatever. I'm just upset that I had to call in sick to work. I'm one broke mamajama.

I was at Shopko today (buying medicine for the above stated malady), going to check out, and I realized that I had two options: standing in one of two freakishly long check-out lines, or going through the self check-out. So there I was, repeatedly trying to shove a slightly crinkly $1 bill into the cash slot when I became a little irritated at our do-it-yourself society. Why, exactly, should we do it all ourselves? What happened to specialization? Now, instead of being good at one thing you have to be good at everything. The do-it-yourself section in any bookstore is huge. It almost makes me feel guilty for wanting to pay people to do the stuff I don't know how to do or don't really want to do. But seriously, what's next? Make it yourself fast food? Sew it yourself clothing? Are we trying to complete eliminate the need for blue collar workers? Granted, getting upset at over a reluctant dollar bill is a little extreme, but I'm sick and everything is irritating.

What Happened To The Manly Men?

I was having a converation last night with someone who will only be identified here as "Slothy" and it dawned on me that the modern world has seen the slow decline of the manly man. What happened to the man who could wrestle an alligator with one hand and chop wood with the other? The guy that would lay out a drunk who was hitting on you without even pausing from drinking his beer? And we're not talking light beer here either. And don't even THINK about drinking it out of a glass. During my conversation with Slothy I defined my ideal man as one who looks, talks, walks, and acts like they could defend me from a bear if necessary. And replying "but bears are scary," like Slothy did, is unacceptable. I haven't dated a bear fighter for long time, if ever. Sure, there was Jas the paratrooper green beret, but I'm sure he would just blow up the bear from a distance with an unneccessary amount of explosives. Other than Jas though, I haven't dated a guy who could beat me in an arm wrestling contest in quite awhile. And I'm a really bad arm wrestler. So yeah, I know I was being a little extreme, but it would be nice to be with a guy who made me feel like I was being protected, even if I don't really need it.

Moral of the story-Guys, you need to be the guy. I know I'm probably setting the womens' liberation movement back a little bit, but most girls still want to be girls. We want to feel coddled and protected. Just don't open the door for me, that's annoying.

Blob Of Humanity

Do you ever have days where you feel like God made a big mistake in putting you on the earth if he expected you to get anything accomplished? That was today. After going to bed at 4 am it was a little uncool to hear Bridget's alarm clock going off at 8:30. That in itself would not have been bad if she could actually hear it. Yes, this girl sleeps through the alarm that is right next to her head. I, however, am not so lucky. The incredibly annoying sound eventually propels me to get up and wake her up. Once again, this would not have been bad if I didn't have to do it EVERY TEN MINUTES. It's a good thing I like her so much...I did threaten to punch her in the eye next time though. That's my new thing, punching people in the eye. One of these days I'm going to do it, I swear to God. Anyway, after I eventually got out of bed I proceded to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I was a big waste of oxygen. Even at work I did next to nothing. This, unfortunately was due to the fact that I had next to nothing to do. Don't these people know that I have to make money???

Come to think of it, I've been a blob alot lately. Sure, I've gotten things accomplished, but with no flair, no patented Jaime panache. Horror of horrors, I've become BORING. I'm not witty, I'm not clever, I'm not funny, I'm not hyper, I'm not goofy, I'm not adventurous, I'm not crazy, I'm not...anything. I have no idea why either. Someone help me found my long lost sense of fun and adventure, not to mention humor!

I'm watching 40 Days And 40 Nights right now. Has our society become so sex crazed so that going for 40 days without sex or sexual contact is virtually inconceivable? I like to think that I could easily do it. However, I don't want to if at all possible. It appears that I'm involuntarily headed that way though. Not cool. I'm being forced by my body to give up alcohol and I would really prefer not to deprive it of everything it once loved. Until later.

Unfair Advantage?

Today we had a Miller Lite party at Hudson's. They had a TON of things that you could win in a raffle, from hats and t-shirts to grills and an electric guitar. I got off of work at about 8 because my section was ridiculous. I, however, was not eligible to win any of the prizes. Why is this? Does working at Hudson's somehow make me more likely to win a completely random raffle? How is this fair? So there I was, forced to watch the revelry without being able to participate. How sad for me. I did, however, receive a free Lite tee-shirt and some Lite beads, which I am still wearing at this very minute as I sit here eating Chex mix that I'm not even hungry for waiting for the rest of my roommates to get home to entertain me.

So I was sitting here in my apartment by myself watching a movie about Jeffrey Dahmer. It had just gotten to a part where Dahmer was jacking himself off to some dead guy and Amy walks in. She laughed, turned around, and mumbled a "I'm going to my room". GREAT, so my roommate thinks I sit here alone in the dark (or light) watching porn. This is so not true, to those male readers who now think I'm the perfect woman. Sorry to disappoint. Porn is only fun when shared with others.

On a COMPLETELY different note, my mom came up to visit me and get her car fixed today. That was nice. The End.

Am I So Non-Threatening?

Last night I finally got a chance to get over to Julie, Paul, and Dusty's new apartment to see them. It was good to spend some time with people that are completely familiar. We drank a few beers at their apartment and then headed to the Wooden Nickel. That's right, the Wooden Nickel. They got some new owners and they cleaned it up quite a bit. No more bras on the ceiling. *sighs mournfully* We had a few more beers there ($1 drafts baby!) and Paul and I played some songs on their quality jukebox. Bar time crept up on pretty fast so I headed home to find a bunch of drunk people in my apartment. That was cool though, I was still in the party mood. Lee and Eric played guitar duets for a couple hours. Damn my roommates and their buddies like to stay up late. I finally gave up at like 5 and went to bed like the old lady that I'm quickly becoming. I woke up to a raging hangover that has convinced me that drinking needs to be something that happens only on extremely special occasions.

Amy and I went to see Stepford Wives tonight. I don't recommend it.

For those of you that also read Ashly's blog, you will have read her rant concerning the subject of girls being leary of her spending time with their boyfriends in a strictly friend capacity and getting angry about it. I also have quite a few guy friends but I've never had one of their girlfriends dislike me or get mad at me for it. That I know of anyway. What do you suppose this means? Am I so non-threatening? While I'm heartened to know that girls trust me, it's also a little disconcerting. Am I seen as just one of the guys? There is a ton of irony in this, as most of you well know. Granted, I am not a girly girl. Actually, I don't even come close.

Okay, enough of that for tonight. I don't seem to be in a very good mood. Maybe it's because I've spent the vast majority of the day vomiting. Who knows?

It was tough, but we found ways to entertain ourselves over in a beautiful, entertainment filled foreign city. 

We didn't even have to have our parents make us stand like this!! 

I Had Some Deep Insights...But I Forgot Them

So it appears that I'm driving a bandwagon. The Blogspot Bandwagon, to be specific. So far my blog has inspired Ashly, Julie, Dusty, Paul, Joel, and Nate to begin their own journals at blogspot. I'm such a trendsetter. I'm like Cosmo. I don't think anyone actually reads mine though, no one leaves me comments, except for Ashly and Jules, of course. So if you read this, leave me a comment.

Anyway, I had some profound thoughts that I was going to add to my journal but I seem to have forgotten them. I had to write on here though, we're watching a movie (Mystic River) and I'm really bad at watching movies without having something else to do. Ask any guy I've ever dated. Most of them have gotten extremely irritated with me for my excess energy and horrible attention span.

We went and saw Dodgeball again tonight. It's that funny. I still laughed my ass off. You better Checkedicheck yourself before you wreck yourself!

*briefly pauses to pay attention to the movie*

Today I ended my 6 day long body cleansing experiment. No caffeine, alcohol, fried foods, or sweets for 6 days. The hardest thing BY FAR was giving up caffeine. I seriously feel so much better though, I'm not tired all the time, my skin looks way better, and I was never ever hungover. I ended it tonight with a gigantic diet pepsi at the movies, a couple beers at home, and Domino's pizza. I wasn't messing around.

EWWWW, Kevin Bacon is SO ugly. No one told me that he was in this movie!!

Wow, this is complete pointless drivel. I should probably stop writing. Maybe tomorrow I'll remember those deep insights I had in my head earlier. Either that or I'll come up with some new ones.

Sex? On The History Channel?

Wow, there's no getting away from sex, is there? I'm sitting here watching a show on historical sex. Well, sort of watching, sort of typing on here, and sort of chatting with T Dizzle Fo Shizzle (I'm having a gangsta night). Wow, I just found out the show is called "The History of Sex". Interesting. If there was a show about my sex life right now it wouldn't even make commercial length. In fact, I think it would just be a blank screen with a laugh track. How sad for me. Maybe I shouldn't watch shows that remind me how lame I am. =)

Ash and I went to see Dodgeball last night. Words cannot express how funny I found that movie. It felt so good to laugh that hard again. I don't think I have since Vienna, which is very weird because I'm a very laughy person. And yes, it's okay to make up words like "laughy". My journal, my vocabulary. I guess I haven't been in a funny situation for awhile. My days are most spent by myself and frankly, I don't find myself that funny. Well, I do sometimes. Sometimes I'm a freakin' riot. =) And modest. Always modest. But either way I don't usually sit around and crack jokes to myself. I'm a firm believer that you should not laugh at your own jokes anyway, they're never as funny when you do.

Since I don't have any haikus to write this evening like my esteemed roommate/partner in crime I should probably go to bed. Work at 10:30 tomorrow morning. YUCK.

I'm So Miranda

So our post-work entertainment for the evening is watching Sex and the City on DVD while drinking Boone's Farm. Well, I'm not drinking Boone's Farm, that's just gross. I'm watching them drink Boone's Farm. Okay, enough about Boone's Farm. Watching this show always leads females towards mental meanderings over which character they would be. Tonight is no different. We decided that Ashly and Amy would both be Charlotte, as they are both nuns with a bit of a wild side who seem to be looking for Mr. Right. I, however, would definitely be Miranda. She's a down to earth, sarcastic woman with really bad taste in men. So me. Carrie would be Samantha because she's all about mackin' on the men. And she seems to have this way with men. I'm not sure who our Carrie Bradshaw would be. It's an interesting way to analyze your personality. I'm not so sure that I ever want to do it again...My personality doesn't stand up to intense scrunity.

Tom....LaFleche? And Cathy....Ingham? 

Never try a mini keg stand. They do not work and you end up with lots of beer in your nose. I'm sure this would have been obvious to some people. Me, not so much. 

One Month Later, I Have A Different Life

So I went back to Hudson's last night. Ugh. I was not at all happy to do so. I know that I should just quit and find a job that I like but I don't think I can find one that I like waitressing and I can't make anywhere near as much money as I do now doing something else. I didn't like Vango's, I didn't like Birch Lake, and I HATE Hudson's. This is a bad pattern! Maybe I just have a bad job attitude. I don't mind working though, I'd rather work than not. I guess it wasn't too bad last night. We got busy late but that was okay because I made more money in the last hour than I had all night. There were so many new people there though! Some of them seem really really dumb too. Great. I'm SOOO great with stupid people...
It seems like everything has changed. Before I left things were TOTALLY different. I lived with Jules, Paul, and Katie (and for the most part, Dusty) and we had each others patterns and quirks down. I was in what I thought was a great relationship (except for the last week). I knew everyone that worked at Hudson's and Sparky was still there. I miss him!! It was cold and I still had school to worry about. All my friends were still in Marquette. So yeah, I basically feel like I came back to the wrong spot. I'm not complaining though! I like change, to a point. I was just so damn happy last semester it's going to take awhile to figure out to do that again. But I will, for sure I will. =)
Ashly finally came out and asked about how I was doing with the whole Grant thing and if I was over it. I kind of mumbled through a reply and then she told me that she had just talked to him and he asked about me. I don't know why, but that hurt. Not the stabbing hurt that it used to be, but just sort of a dull ache. It's absolutely ridiculous that I wouldn't be over him by now, we were only together for 3 months and I guess we weren't actually officially together. We never talked about the future and we never made each other promises, which is something I'm profoundly grateful for. I still miss him (or who I thought he was) and would love to talk to him again. From a distance, of course. I so thought that I had almost forgotten about him.
I know this sounds like alot of whining but it's really really not. It's alot of confusion, basically. I'm just as happy with my life as I always before. I have great roommates and great friends and basically a great life. And I get to study in the Carribean in 6 months! Yay! Anyway, it's time for me to get some stuff on my to-do list. Yes, there is an actual list, it's an attempt at organizing my life. I'm so efficient!

My Own Personal Therapy

I got kinda used to posting what was going on with my life over in Vienna so I'm thinking that I should keep up with it. It's strangely calming to go over my day(s) and analyze it a little bit.
I got back to Marquette last night. It was really good to see Ash and Bridge and Amy again. They decided to throw a little coming home party for me, which was awesome of them. They got a quarter barrel of Busch and invited some friends over. Unfortunately I didn't know very many of these friends. They all had their little stories and anecdotes about the past month that I felt completely left out of. Not to mention trying to remember everyones' names! I was super tired from going out the night before with Sandy, getting home at 5, and then getting up to go fishing with Cat, Matt, and Katie, and then getting all my stuff ready to come back up here. I barely drank anything at all, I was too tired to be in the mood. I probably should have, I would have felt a little more like a belonged. It's interesting to feel like a stranger in a place where you've lived for 2 years. I'm sure I'll get to know all the people that were here last night though, they all seemed pretty cool. And young. They all seemed really young. But of course that could be because I'm getting really old...*grimaces*

A few people from Hudson's came over, it was good to see them. It was really great to see Andy until he started making out with Ashly WHILE LAYING ON TOP OF ME. I had been laying in my bed watching TV, trying to tune out the party a little bit, when Andy and Ashly gave and jumped on me and laid across my legs. A few minutes later I looked over and they were making out. WHAT THE FUCK? *laughs*

Today I've pretty much spent by myself, doing alot of thinking. Actually it's been deep thinking. For me anyway. I've been contemplating what I want to do with my summer. It seems like I should get something accomplished besides partying and working. I think I'm going to teach myself German. I think I'll do better that way then I did surrounded by a bunch of my friends. I'm also going to stop with my propensity for attached males. There was actually alot more involved in my thinking but I have to go to Walmart and buy some bean bag chairs for our future parties.